Claim Jumper...OMG

L. and I were invited to a movie at the new southcenter mega center and dinner at one of the fine dining establishments surrounding the mall. We agreed to Claim Jumper because we had never been and heard how entertaining it can be. The place looks like you walked into someones den with over the top woodwork and excessive taxidermy. Dim lighting also fills the room with a creepy daze making it hard to focus especially when you walk out ready to puke.

Sitting on the table is a huge saloon guide that includes something like 100 drinks. I decided to try their bloody marry. When it came to the table, I was speechless...the picture is not capturing the reality of how big this was. The drink was not half bad, but the 12 inch celery stalk was a bit much. I do think that it is partly a scam as far as how much drink is in the cup with the loads of ice and 1 inch thick glass...but overall visually it was laughable.

I still have no idea why we ordered an appetizer. But since our friends had been there before we let them pick the best one. They choose the Southwest Eggrolls: chicken, cilantro, black beans, and mixed peppers. The chicken was really good, and the deep fry on the eggrolls was perfect. The dipping sauces were interesting. One was like a ranch salsa, something you would decide to make at your house after partying all night and the other one was sort of watery and salty.


Then our meals started coming out. B. got the chicken strips and fries, something they let her order "off the menu". I am still not entirely sure how they have off menu items when the menu is like a small novel. Sorry the picture is blurry, I think this is when I was prepping for a food coma. The chicken was good, almost as if they cut up whole chicken breasts then lightly coated them with a flash fry. I also tasted the shoestring fries, not bad.

I ordered the chicken and biscuits, which again were chicken breasts coated in batter and then deep fried. The dish came with two big buttermilk biscuits and two big chicken breasts. They were all coated in some sort of country gravy along side mashed potatoes. I didnt really care for the gravy, it lacked flavor. I did however like the honey butter they served on the side. I barely ate on whole breast and biscuit. The serving was insane.



L. ordered the Braised Short Ribs which came out looking quite small compared to the amount of food they were sending out to the rest of us. However, I think I was deceived because of the mound of mashed potatoes the ribs were sitting on. His also came with some steamed vegetables, looking just like school lunch, and the buttermilk biscuit.


When the last dish came out we all about died because it came with three plates. The first side were cheese potato cakes. These were deep fried mashed potatoes with some of that ranch salsa. They were good, Im not going to lie.


Second came out the garlic cheese toast.


And then the Beef Back Ribs!!!!!!!!!!!


Someone got the bright idea that we should try some of these random cocktails while we were trying to put down all this food. I lost the damn receipt and the website wont give up the saloon guide so I am not going to be able to tell you much about these damn cocktails. The one I had was some sort of 151 drink with banana and pineapple or something. It tasted like sun tan lotion.
This was some sort of specialty margarita, which was WAY too sweet.

This was a pina colada, which was lackluster and another overpriced specialty margarita.

L. should have been punched in the face for closing our meal with a dessert. We couldn't even finish our meals! But, alas he loves dessert and wanted to see what it was all about. I took one bite of what was later described as black sludge it tasted like brownie batter.

This was the Brownie Finale.


I can honestly say, I have no desire to go back here. I ate there on Sunday and I still don't feel good. Overindulgence is rough.

TUKWILA
5901 S. 180th Street

TGIF

So I belong to a secret society that visits some of the best restaurants around the world. I am talking about family chain restaurants in the greater king county area. Our small group ventures out to taste these amazing limited time only specials that are backed with multi-million dollar marketing campaigns, complete with flashy commercial ads and slogans.

A few weeks ago on a Friday we went to T.G.I. Fridays to check out the new limited time only menu based on the Food Network's Ultimate Recipe Showdown hosted by O.G. game show host, Marc Summers and the foolish Guy Fieri. If you didnt watch this show basically contestents met weekly to challenge each other on who had the best recipe in six different categories: Chicken, Burgers, Comfort Foods, Cakes, Pasta and Cookies. The winner each week collected $25,000 but also gave T.G.I.Fridays the right to incorporate their winning dish into their menu.

Upon sitting down at the bar and the four of us kickin the night off with a few long islands...we waited for the perfect table. The size of this glass and the amount of alcohol that could be inside was intimidating, but upon one sip, I realized it was all mixer and ice. Boo.

I don't know what I was thinking but the U.R.S. menu did not impress me. The Peruvian Herb Roasted Chicken did not sound awesome, the Ahi Tuna Ciabatta Mini Burgers sounded alright, but I didnt really feel like ciabatta bread and lastly the Chipotle Grilled Steak Sandwich was not going to pop off because I do not eat beef. Out of the four of us only one of us went for one of the special menu choices. Carbo ordered the steak sandwich which is hearty skirt steak, lettuce, tomato and sweet plantains smothered with chipotle mayo on some panni bread. Served with onion rings:

Above is the actual sandwich she got. Below is the picture they use to scam you into ordering it:


The rest of us ordered a bunch of random things including a burger, fish tacos and some sort of Jack Daniels bbq platter. I had the fish tacos and they were decent. The corn salsa was very simple but it tasted fresh. I liked the grilled fish in the tacos too, I mean it has to be frozen but it also tasted fresh for lack of a better word. And whatever the sauce was on the side, some sort of ranch based dipping cream was BOMB. If you don't like ranch you are not cool.



Now, regardless of the fact that our food was in one word "boring", I had a great time. Most of these outings which are filled with endless hours of laughter and jokes have nothing to do with the lame ass American food, it is all about the entertainment.

To get these experience you need someone with a car and some gas.
11am-2am on Fridays

505 Parkplace
Kirkland, WA 98033

You can't miss it, it is right next to a 24hr fitness.

Fuddruckers?

I forgot I have a few more Midwest gems to share. This place called Fuddruckers, was the joint when I was a kid. The place I use to go to is no longer standing but my dad found one way out of town, while we were doing some drywall work with him.

The place looks totally different than the one did in the early 80s, but it smelled exactly the same. Back in the day it was all stainless steal and felt like a warehouse now, it looks more like a Red Robin. But the their food concept is easy and its their trademark....FREEDOM.

You pick your burger: turkey, chicken, veggie, fish or beef. They cook it up and let you put what you want on it yourself. I had the turkey burger which was hands down one of the best turkey burgers I've had. They cook everything made to order so its fresh and hot. You get the choices served up salad bar style...

which includes the best cheese sauce...

L. had the beef burger with grilled onions

The menu has expanded to include so much stuff you can get overwhelmed. I remember having some pretty basic choices when I was a kid, now you can get down on nachos, salads and dessert as well. This place is a chain and they are scattered around the US. If you see one, you should try the cheese sauce. Who the hell doesn't like cheese sauce?

Never Ending Pasta Bowls and Tropical Sangria

Yeah. OLIVE GARDEN!
"When you're here, You're Family"

So my brother calls me up and wants to take me to dinner...we spend a few minutes exchanging ideas on places we want to go and then he's like, fuck it, lets go to Olive Garden. I paused, laughed and then totally got down. My brother is a chef, someone who knows more about food than the average human. He enjoys getting away from four star quality food and getting in on the mystery of chain restaurants.

We decided to take on the OG by staring in the bar as we awaited our table.I enjoyed an Italian Margarita, which came with a floater of amaretto on the side. This drink was extremely sweet and sticky. The orange sugar crystals on the rim, were a real classy touch.

When we got to the table, we were overwhelmed with the menu and the options so we ordered an appetizer. We ordered the Smoked Mozzarella Fonduta, which was a hot mess of melted cheeses and some bread. I do not think I would order that again. My brother however, enjoyed it. He also challenged me to eat the whole bowl in one minute, I passed.

Next, I ordered my second drink...after looking through the menu I came across the Tropical Sangria. What in the fuck is tropical sangria? Well, I will tell you, it is some cheap ass white wine mixed with passion fruit juice. I found this out later as we were leaving...when I asked the bartendar. Nothing like a wine glass, ice, some cheap wine and a straw to bring it home.

Next out come the classic salad and breadsticks. Always on point, this iceburg salad is the bomb and one of the only times I come close to getting down on some oil and vinegar. Bread was dusted with garlic and came out really hot, so yeah, BOMB. For those who do not know, the salad and breadsticks are also unlimited and never ending.

So onto the entrees. I should add that at this point none of us were hungry. I decided to go with the Chicken Parmigana. My brother went with some Stuffed Chicken Marsala...and his wife took one for the team and ordered the Never Ending Pasta Bowl. Since we were not that hungry we decided to all help B. eat her pasta bowl so we could keep ordering until they said no more. We only got two bowls. The first one had the smoked cheese sauce and classic marinara, the second bowl had alfredo sauce and sausage sauce. The waitress told us that 3-5 people get the second bowl, which for the record is actually smaller than the first. She said rarely do people get a third bowl.
Since we were really doing it up, we even got dessert. We ordered the Tiramisu and the Frozen Tiramisu Drink. This was a bad idea. I tasted that tiramisu but that was it, I did not care for it. I did however drink some of that drink, and got an immediate brain freeze or diabetes, I am still not sure.
After all of this, I could barely talk on the way home. Talk about some serious discomfort from over indulgence. Oh well, it was awesome. I will prolly go back next year.