5 minute dog food

so i read this recipe the other day for a 5 minute, microwave chocolate cake. i was skeptical and the greater part of me knew it would be bullshit, but since i had all the ingredients on hand, i figured, why not give it a go.

i mean, shoot, in the end if it sucked, i would only be out a few tablespoons of ingredients and an egg, which i find disgusting in the first place.

sweet ninja email, i know.

everything i needed. yeah, imitation vanilla. you see it. why use the good shit on this experiment, right? vaniller is 'spensive, dude!

mix dry ingredients (flour, sugar, cocoa).

add egg. mix thoroughly. then add oil and milk.

stir until uniform and blended.

microwave on high for 3 minutes in a 1100W nuker. don't fret as it explodes over the top of the mug.

let cool for a couple minutes.

invert onto a plate, or bowl in this case. stare at what looks like it could potentially be dog food. do not feed to animals. chocolate = no-no!

i ate the couple bites that stuck to the bottom of the mug and was severely disappointed. it was strangely cooked, completely bizarre in texture, and almost flavorless.

so yeah, i made a quick salty peanut-chocolate frosting. i heated up some peanut butter and butter, added cocoa and mixed. then i added a touch of sugar and milk, stirred until glossy. then more sugar and milk in the same technique until the consistency was right. plopped on top of 5 minute dog food.

the "frosting" was fine...a little too salty for my taste, but it made a couple bites of the kibble tolerable. all-in-all it was too rich (due to the frosting) but mostly dense and sick.

sorry for subjecting you to this, m.